Own Your Happiness
by Kathleen Hall, Ph.D.

Ask people how they are doing these days, and the first word you will hear is “busy.” Probe deeper, and soon you may see frustration as they say, “exhausted.” We do more, go more and buy more. Our gas tanks are full, our bank accounts are full, and our closets are full, but we are running on empty. Surveys say we don’t get enough sleep, we eat more meals on the run than at home, we take too many pills, and, worst of all, we don't spend enough time with our children and the people we love.

Clearly, our lives are out of balance. It is time to stop being the victim of our lives and make choices that will create an intentional life of happiness.

Happiness, many of us believe, is inextricably linked to wealth and status. We have traditionally measured happiness through our accumulation of possessions: trendy clothes and cars, fine jewelry, homes in the best neighborhoods. These are the things we work for, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

In the modern culture, we tend to think we can find happiness “out there,” at the mall, in the gym, or in a bottle in our medicine cabinet. All we need is a thinner body, a better job, a new spouse, or more successful children. We think if we throw enough money at the problem, one morning we will wake up in a state of bliss. Most of us live in a constant state of exhaustion and duress: our jobs need us, our children need us, and, increasingly, our aging parents need us. But it seems there is not enough of us to go around. (No wonder cloning has a certain appeal!)

We feel unhappy, frantic, and out of balance. We push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion on a daily basis. We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance.

Emerging science is telling us we are wired for happiness from the beginning. Researchers believe that about 50-70% of our happiness and optimism comes from our genes. Genes impact our happy, content personality, our propensity for anxiety and depression and our ability to handle stress.

Here are some results from our recent research on happiness.

• People who score high on psychological tests assessing happiness, produce about 50% more antibodies that the average person in response to flu vaccines.
• Individuals that test high on scales for happiness, optimism and contentment have a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, hypertension and infections.
• A recent study reveals that optimistic individuals reduced their risk of death by 50% over the nine years of the study.

Here are some tips on how to live a happier life:

• Attitude of Gratitude. It is physiologically impossible to be grateful and experience stress at the same time. Research shows grateful individuals report having more energy and less physical complaints than their non-grateful counterparts.
• Choice. Every moment of our lives is a choice and every choice we make has a huge ripple effect.
• Proactive. Refuse to be the victim of your life.  If we create a plan with our passion and live in a proactive manner, we will become the hero of our lives.
• Smile: Begin the practice of intentionally smiling. A scientist studying facial expressions states that people who smile, release more serotonin and endorphins (happiness hormones) than non-smilers.
• Laugh as often as possible. Laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones and boosts our immune function.
• Play. Re-establish “childlike” qualities. Science tells us when we play it increases the immune cells in our bodies that combat disease.
• Health.  When we care for our physical bodies we create greater possibilities for happiness. Our bodies are our greatest asset, so please care for them tenderly.
• Spirituality. Happy people have developed spiritual practices that nourish their heart and soul. Our spirituality is what roots us in our lives.
• Altruism and Philanthropy – A generous soul lives a rich, abundant life. Altruism neutralizes negative emotions that affect immune, endocrine and cardiovascular function. Altruism creates a physiological responses or “helpers high” that makes people feel stronger and more energetic and counters harmful effects of stress.
• Forgiveness. Happy people know forgiveness sets the soul free. A famous person said, “Living with resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.” 

By making a few simple alterations to your life, you can experience happiness, calm and better health.

Conference panelist Kathleen Hall, Ph.D. is author of A Life in Balance, Nourishing the Four Roots of True Happiness. Learn more at www.stressinstitute.com

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